


The Rule

by MandalaRose



Series: Every Rule Has an Exception [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: All The Dick Jokes, Alternate Universe - High School, And I'm kind of excited about that, Astroglide is the real hero here, Astroglide: The Official Lubricant of the Supernatural Fandom, Charlie and Jo ship Destiel, Cuz Charlie, F/F, F/M, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Harry Potter references abound, High School Student Ash, High School Student Charlie Bradbury, High School Student Jo Harvelle, I hope I did her justice, M/M, Not used for/during sex though, Openly Gay Castiel (Supernatural), POV Charlie Bradbury, Senior Prank, Sex Toys, Teacher Castiel (Supernatural), Teacher Dean Winchester, aromantic ash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-20 16:31:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18996352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MandalaRose/pseuds/MandalaRose
Summary: “I don’t know,” Charlie says guiltily, “I feel kind of bad.  I didn’t mean for Mr. Winchester and Mr. Novak to get stuck late at work cleaning up our prank.  They’re good guys.  I mean, they’re the co-sponsors of the GSA!”“Yeah, but don’t you see Charles,” Jo cuts in excitedly, “this could be our chance to finally figure out if those two idiots are actually banging yet!”“Winvak!” Charlie squeals.When a senior prank turns into Charlie's two favorite teachers spending an evening stuck late at work together, she and her two best friends find themselves drawn yet again into their never ending, "are they or aren't they," debate.  Will they finally learn if openly gay English teacher, Castiel Novak, is actually dating the staff's charming and seemingly-straight playboy?  And if tried-and-true ladies' man, Dean Winchester, can find himself lusting after his dreamy male coworker, does that mean there's a chance for Charlie's hopeless crush on her straight best friend, Jo?





	The Rule

**Author's Note:**

  * For [froggylogic666](https://archiveofourown.org/users/froggylogic666/gifts).



> Hi everyone!
> 
> I wrote this after a Facebook friend saw a photo from a viral post about a fairly fantastic senior prank and said she needed it to be a Destiel AU. Ask and ye shall receive! ***Thanks for the prompt, froggylogic666! It was cute and super fun to write!***
> 
> Heads up if you've read my stuff before, note the rating. Unlike my usual fare, there's no actual sex in this story, though it abounds with sexual language and references.. enough so that I was really torn between the Teen rating and Mature. For those who like the hanky-panky, don't be too disappointed. You'll notice that I've listed this as the first part of a series. I'm already planning an explicit companion fic, which I'll talk more about in the end notes.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

“Scoot over!”

“You scoot over!”

“Sup bitches?  How about both of you scoot over, since it’s _my_ computer we’re watching.”  Charlie elbows her way between her two best friends and wiggles into her desk chair.

“Sorry Charlie, but Harvelle’s giant head was blocking my view,” Ash smirks, gesturing to the left of the two computer monitors that take up the majority of the small desk.  Admittedly, it’s a tight fit for all three of them to crowd around the two screens, even with Ash perched on the edge of Charlie’s bed behind her and Jo.

“Shh,” Jo waves her hand in Ash’s face and motions to the monitors, “they’re coming back!”

“You know the audio’s only one-way, right Harvelle?  They can’t hear us,” Ash grins teasingly, then grunts when Jo punches him in the leg.

“I _know_ that, you asshole,” she grumbles, “I meant, ‘shut up so I can hear what they’re saying.’”

“Shh!” Now it’s Charlie shushing them and all three heads focus on the slightly grainy images in front of them.  The left-hand monitor shows the backs of a small group of people, seemingly clustered around something in front of them.  On the right-hand display, the faces of a slim woman with dark hair and three men look down at something out-of-view of the camera.

_“And what, exactly, is this?”_

_“Uh, well, Principal Amara, looks to me like it’s a..”_

_“A practical joke, Principal.  Likely a harmless senior prank,”_ Mr. Novak interrupts, shooting a significant _look_ at his fellow English teacher.

 _“That’s precisely what I was going to say,”_ returns Mr. Winchester smoothly, rocking backward on his heels, hands tucked into the pockets of his khaki slacks.  Principal Amara gives Mr. Winchester a lingering look and Charlie could swear she sees Mr. Novak’s eyes narrow on the monitor.

 _“Bloody ankle-biters,”_ grumbles the remaining man in a British accent, standing several inches shorter than the other three, the difference in their heights almost comical. 

 _“Who did this?”_ asks Principal Amara sharply.

 _“The perpetrators are unknown as of yet, Principal, but I’m looking into it,”_ assures Crowley.

 _“Don’t we have security cameras?”_ she asks, gesturing at the camera behind them that’s currently streaming to the right-hand monitor on Charlie’s desktop.   _“Can’t you just check those?”_

 _“Unfortunately, it seems that our cameras experienced an outage today, which included the time of the.. incident,”_ Crowley says, before adding quickly, _“They’ve since been repaired, of course.”_

“Have I mentioned how awesome it is that you were able to use your hacker magic to tap into the school’s cameras like that?  You’re like Hermione Granger with a wi-fi connection,” Jo beams and Charlie fights down her blush.

“I’m not a witch,” she answers to deflect from the warmth Jo’s praise leaves in her chest and her cheeks, “I’m a nerd.  Now, hush.”  Charlie looks resolutely at the screen in front of her.

Reaching forward, she taps a few keys on her keyboard, zooming out on the camera Ash carefully installed inside a return-air duct above the lockers.  Okay, so it’s actually the video monitor from Jo’s baby sister’s nursery, but the quality is pretty good all things considered; and it gives them a better vantage point than the school security camera Charlie had hacked into at the other end of the hall.

As the camera zooms out, the “prank” in question comes into view, head first, so to speak.  Snickers fill the room as a giant, three-foot, flesh-colored dildo emerges from the bottom of the screen.

“It’s like if _Jaws_ were a porno,” chortles Ash, sending Charlie and Jo into a fresh wave of giggles.

On the monitor, Principal Amara sighs and looks down at her assistant principal; her superior height, cool attitude, and white sleeveless blouse are the perfect counter to his 5 feet, 8 inches of black pin-striped-suit-wearing British sass.

_“Deal with this, Crowley.  Quickly.  Superintendent Roman will be here first thing in the morning and all signs of this.. prank had better be gone.”_

With that, she turns on the heel of her black stiletto pump and strides regally down the hallway, the _click-clack_ of her shoes audible on the video even after she’s moved out-of-frame.  The three men watch her exit, none daring to speak until the principal’s retreating figure can be neither seen nor heard.

 _“A real maneater, that one,”_ murmurs Crowley to himself, sounding reluctantly impressed, before turning to the two English teachers, _“Well, boys, you heard our fearless leader.  Best to have this mess cleaned up before you leave tonight.”_

 _“Us?”_ Mr. Novak’s eyes definitely narrow this time. 

 _“Yeah, why us?”_ Mr. Winchester chimes in, _“Isn’t this more a job for Building Services?”_

_“It would be, Squirrel..”_

_Squirrel?_ Ash mouths in confusion, earning equally bewildered looks from the other two.

“ _Except Garth is busy cleaning graffiti off the girls’ room walls in the science wing.  Another, ‘harmless,’ prank I assume.  Speaking of which, you two wouldn’t have any idea who the instigators behind this bit of juvenile hilarity are, would you?”_

 _“Nope,”_ Mr. Winchester answers immediately, popping the “p” and earning a raised eyebrow from Crowley.

 _“What, exactly, will happen to them if they’re caught?”_ asks Mr. Novak, arms folded across the chest of his black button-down.

 _“Vandalism of school property carries an automatic 5-day suspension from all school activities, which in this case, would also include Thursday’s graduation ceremony.”_ Crowley looks almost gleeful at the prospect and Charlies swallows as she feels Jo shift nervously in the seat next to her.

 _“That’s a little harsh for a dildo and some lube, don’t you think?”_ Mr. Winchester protests, forehead wrinkling, _“It’s not like this was a malicious prank.  It’s funny!”_

Crowley arches an eyebrow, _“I somehow doubt Mr. Roman will agree with you.”_

_“Come on, even Roman has to have a sense of humor buried somewhere beneath all the hair gel and uptight suits.  He can’t be THAT offended by a rubber dick, can he?”_

_“I’m guessing it’s not the ‘dick’ that will most offend Dick..”_ Mr. Novak trails off and three heads tilt to the left on-screen, staring at the giant dildo.  In Charlie’s bedroom, three younger heads mimic the tilt as they stare at the left-hand computer monitor.  Principal Amara’s departure has created enough of an opening in the small group for the 36-inch dildo to now be visible, protruding proudly upright from its suction-cup base.  The black and white security footage is grainy, but Charlie can just make out the words, “DICK Roman,” written sideways along the length of the mock-phallus in black Sharpie.

Jo and Ash silently high five above Charlie’s head as she gives a small, satisfied smirk.  Their prank had been more a political statement than a practical joke.  One of the first things Dick Roman had attempted to do when he assumed his post as superintendent of schools this past fall was to outlaw the schools’ PFLAG and GSA organizations, calling them “incendiary” and “divisive,” and stating that they “undermined a cohesive school community.”  He’d been unsuccessful, thanks to massive student and teacher protest (spearheaded by a certain redheaded whirlwind of petite-but-terrifying righteous fury), but that move had set the tone for his administration and its future restrictive policies, many of which have targeted marginalized and vulnerable subsets of the student population. 

In short, the man is a giant dick.

On the right-hand monitor, Mr. Winchester smirks, _“Like I said, funny.”_

 _“Be that as it may,”_ says Crowley primly, _“that’s the rule.”_

 _“Every rule has an exception,”_ argues Mr. Winchester stubbornly.

 _“Not this one,”_ counters Crowley smoothly, _“We can’t allow students to slander the superintendent of schools.  It sets a poor precedent.”_

 _“Technically, it’s libel if it’s written, not slander,”_ corrects Mr. Novak.

 _“TECHNICALLY, it’s neither if it’s true,”_ snorts Winchester.

“It’s true,” grumble Jo, Charlie, and Ash in unison.

 _“Well, since you so clearly approve of this prank, Winchester, I’m sure you and Feathers will have no problem cleaning it up,”_ Crowley responds coolly.

At least this nickname’s not a mystery.  Everyone’s seen the tips of Mr. Novak’s wing tats peeking out from beneath the sleeves of the old band t-shirts he favors on casual days.  Even Charlie will admit she’d go Dark Side for a chance to see that ink in full.. and she’s a solid Kinsey 6. 

 _“I said it’s funny, not that I approve,”_ corrects Mr. Winchester. _“What happens if we refuse?”_

Crowley steps squarely into Winchester’s space and somehow manages to look down at the man despite a 4-inch height disadvantage.  His tone goes from cool to icy, _“Then I’ll be.. disappointed, and I assure you, Squirrel, my disappointment is not a thing to be taken lightly.”_

Ash lets out a soft whistle, “Crowley is one scary little dude.”

“What do you think he’d do?” Jo asks somewhat skeptically.

“Probably something that would end badly for Mr. Winchester’s career, but could never be traced back to him,” answers Charlie darkly.  Fergus Crowley is a man to neither trust nor cross.

 _“Just asking,”_ comes Winchester’s voice from Charlie’s computer speakers.  On the screen, he raises his eyebrows and lifts his hands placatingly. 

 _“And now that I’ve assuaged your curiosity, I think I’ll take my leave,”_ comes Crowley’s dismissive reply, _“Ta ta, boys.”_

As Crowley saunters down the hallway, the two remaining men exchange glances, then turn to stare at the silicone schlong in silence.

On the left-hand monitor, _DICK Roman_ stares back.

“Now we’re on to the good stuff,” Ash says gleefully, rubbing his hands together and learning forward from his seat on the edge of the bed.

“I don’t know,” Charlie says guiltily, “I feel kind of bad.  I didn’t mean for Mr. Winchester and Mr. Novak to get stuck late at work cleaning up our prank.  They’re good guys.  I mean, they’re the co-sponsors of the GSA!”

“Yeah, but don’t you see Charles,” Jo cuts in excitedly, “this could be our chance to finally figure out if those two idiots are _actually_ banging yet!”

“Winvak!” Charlie squeals.

Ash rolls his eyes, “This _again_?  No way.  Winchester’s straight as a ruler.”

“Except for eye fucking Novak every chance he gets,” Jo matches Ash’s eye roll.

“Tis true,” quips Charlie, “there is A LOT of less-than-platonic staring between those two.”

 _“At some point, we’re going to have to quit staring and actually DO something, you know,”_ Novak nods to the giant dong between them.

Jo snorts, “No fucking kidding.”

 _“If you have any ideas, I’m all ears, Mr. Novak,”_ responds Winchester.

 _“Why is it assumed the gay guy will know what to do with the dildo?  I could take offense to that, MR. Winchester,”_ smirks Novak.

 _“You sayin’ you don’t?”_ Winchester calls Novak’s smirk and raises him an arched eyebrow.

Rolling his eyes, Novak moves to lean back against the lockers before responding, _“No, Dean, believe it or not, I don’t actually have a lot of experience with 3-foot dicks, either rubber or real.”_

Winchester chuckles and Charlie simultaneously smacks Jo’s arm to her left and Ash’s knee to her right.

“Flirting,” she squeals, “they’re definitely flirting right now!”

“Except that Novak just asked Winchester why he assumed ‘the gay guy’ would know what to do with a dildo.. implying that Winchester _isn’t_ gay,” argues Ash.

Charlie’s triumphant face falls momentarily before Jo counters, “Well, maybe he’s bi then.. or pan!”

“Or maybe he’s just secure enough to be able to joke about dicks with a guy who likes dicks without actually liking dicks himself,” Ash points out reasonably, “which would make sense, since you know, he _is_ the co-sponsor of the GSA.”

 _“Makes sense,”_ Winchester concedes.

“Thank you,” Ash smirks at the computer monitor as Charlie and Jo exchange eye rolls.

 _“Most dicks I know are taller than 3 feet, including Mr. Roman here,”_ Winchester finishes.

 _“Well, as an experienced gay man, one thing I can assure you is that the bigger the metaphorical ‘dick,’ the smaller the actual member.  No offense,”_ Novak adds, nodding politely to the indignant dildo. 

Winchester narrows his eyes, _“I’m pretty sure you’ve called me a ‘dick,’ on more than one occasion, Cas.”_

 _“Oh, have I?”_ asks Novak innocently.

 _“Oh, have I?”_ mocks Mr. Winchester in a sing-song voice, “Now who’s the dick?”

Novak grins as Jo lets out a snort, “Winchester is such a dork.”

 _“Shaddup,”_ grumbles a flushing Winchester.

“Well, it’s true,” Jo argues with the computer monitor.

_“Alright, let’s just get this over with so we can go home.”_

_“You’re such a romantic, Dean,”_ teases Novak before looking apologetically at ‘Mr. Roman,’ _“Don’t take it personally.  He has intimacy issues.”_

_“You’re a giant Roman, you know that?  I do NOT have ‘intimacy issues.’”_

Charlie would never have thought an anthropomorphized silicone sex toy could look disbelieving, but Roman manages it.

Ash scoffs behind her, “Yeah, tell that to Ms. Rosen in the math department.. or the new freshman bio teacher.. or ya know, the entire fine arts department.”

“You shut up, too,” Mr. Winchester says sternly, pointing an accusing finger at the suddenly innocent-looking penis-substitute.

Ash holds up his hands defensively, “Hey, I’m on your side, man!”

“No fair,” argues Charlie, looking away from the monitor for a moment as the two English teachers start bickering over who has to do the actual dildo extraction (and _that’s_ a phrase she isn’t going to spend too long thinking about!), “We’re on his side too!  How does wanting someone to find happiness with their dreamy best friend _not_ count as being on their side?”

Two heads whip around in unison to stare at Charlie, who rolls her eyes, “What?  I’m gay, not blind.  I can recognize beauty when I see it, even if it comes in an XY package.”

“And Novak’s ‘package’ ain’t bad either,” smirks Jo.  Charlie forces down the burst of jealousy that flares at the statement.  It’s harder though, to ignore the sadness that follows in its wake at the reminder that the best friend she’s been crushing on for four years is straight. 

“All I’m sayin’ is that Winchester’s hooked up with pretty much every single female teacher in the school, except for old Mildred Baker..”

“Not for lack of trying on her part,” chortles Jo.

“Aaaaand,” Ash drawls out, tugging on Jo’s blonde ponytail for the interruption and earning a swat to his leg in return, “he’s never shown the slightest inclination toward a romantic relationship with any of them.  I don’t think the guy _does_ the whole ‘candy and flowers’ gig, gender preferences notwithstanding.”

Jo rolls her eyes again, “Just because _you’re_ aro Ash, doesn’t mean everyone who chooses not to jump from one relationship to another is.  Some people just need to meet the right person first.”

“And _some people_ waste their lives hopelessly pining for a person they _think_ they can’t have, just because they’re too chicken shit to risk being rejected.  Why would I want that?  No thank you very much.  I’m perfectly happy being a free agent and I think Winchester is too.”

Jo squirms uncomfortably in her seat and looks down, avoiding Charlie’s eyes.  _Shit!_ Does Jo _know_ about her crush? 

Feeling her face flush as red as her hair, Charlie clears her throat and manages to squeak out, “Look, I think something’s happening.”

On screen, Novak and Winchester have moved closer to the approximately 4-foot radius of lube that surrounds Mr. Roman.

 _“It shouldn’t be too difficult to remove from the floor,”_ Novak reasons, _“It’s just a suction cup base.  The problem will be getting to it.”_

Three faces light up with anticipatory grins and Charlie nudges Jo with her elbow, “Good call on the lube moat.” 

Jo smirks back and Charlie feels her heart skip a beat.  Ugh, stupid crush!

All three teenagers lean forward as Winchester takes a tentative step on the lubed section of floor.  He makes it three steps in before his foot slips out from under him, sending him reeling backwards. 

“Son of a bitch!” he shouts as his arms windmill helplessly.

Instinctively, Novak takes a step forward to catch his falling colleague and if he’d been standing on dry floor, that probably would have been the end of it.  As it is, a step toward Winchester is a step onto Astroglide-coated-linoleum.  Winchester’s sudden weight is enough to unbalance the other English teacher and cause him to lose his footing on the slippery tile, sending both men crashing to the floor, Winchester landing with an audible thud in Novak’s lap. 

Charlie and Jo collapse against one another in a fit of giggles while Ash roars and falls backward on Charlie’s mattress.  After a moment of stunned silence, the two men on the computer monitor look at each other, then join in. 

 _“My hero,”_ Winchester finally says, still breathless with laughter.

 _“I tried,”_ Novak says with a helpless shrug.

 _“Well I hate to break it to ya, but I’m afraid you’ve got some pretty **stiff**_ _competition here,”_ Winchester quips, gesturing to dildo-Roman.

Novak groans.  _“That was truly, truly terrible.”_

 _“What can I say?”_ smirks Winchester as he clambers off Novak and starts to carefully climb to his hands and knees, _“The guy swept me off my feet.  It’s gonna be pretty **hard** to **top him**.”_

Novak rolls his eyes, then freezes, smirking dangerously.  Winchester only has a moment for his eyes to widen in surprise before Novak sweeps his leg out to the right, knocking Winchester’s knees out from under him and landing the man back in Novak’s lap, sprawled face first this time.

_“There, now we’re even.”_

Winchester slips and slides as he tries to free himself from Novak’s lap without getting a face full of, well, Novak.  He pulls back amid snorts and giggles from the group in Charlie’s bedroom, glaring at Novak’s smug face.

 _“Just for that, YOU get first crack at unsticking Tricky Dick there,”_ growls Winchester.

“Fine, Dean.  I’ll detach the dick.” 

Winchester and Ash wince in unison and Winchester hisses, _“Dude, language!  Some jokes just aren’t funny, man!”_

“Amen,” mutters Ash as Charlie and Jo snicker.

Shaking his head with a half-exasperated, half-resigned sigh, Novak wiggles, slides, and scoots his way across the lubed-up linoleum, toward the dildo.  Winchester snorts and Novak flips him off over his shoulder without looking.  He reaches for the dildo, then hesitates.

 _“Dude, just grab it and pull,”_ Winchester coaches from a few feet away.

Now it’s Novak’s turn to wince, _“Who taught you to give a hand job?”_

 _“Hey,”_ Winchester says indignantly, _“I give a damn good hand job!”_

Three mouths drop open.

Novak just raises an eyebrow.  Even on the grainy, black-and-white video, it’s obvious that Winchester flushes.

 _“You know what I mean,”_ Winchester grumbles.

Novak smirks again, eyes dropping momentarily to Winchester’s lap, and there’s no way Charlie’s mistaking that heat in his eyes.

“You can’t tell me you can’t see how much Novak wants him!” she squeals at Ash.

“Maybe _he_ does, but that doesn’t mean they’re banging, it doesn’t mean Winchester’s not straight, and it certainly doesn’t mean they’re in loooooove,” he sing-songs the last word sarcastically.

“Oh, come on!” Jo argues once again, “Winchester seems pretty defensive about his dick-handling skills for a totally straight, not-at-all-interested-in-banging-his-hot-male-coworker, kind of guy.”

“Hey, no man wants to have his self-pleasuring skills criticized, okay?  That’s right up there with having your dick criticized.  It’s not cool, man.  That doesn’t mean he wants to touch anyone else’s dick.”

“Even if Winchester is straight, clearly Novak is still hot for him,” Jo says, nodding to the two idiot teachers staring at one another on the computer screen.

“Doesn’t that, like, break the first rule of gaydom?” asks Ash skeptically. 

“Huh?”

“You know, if you’re gay, don’t fall for someone who’s straight.  Never ends well.”

“You can’t help who you fall for, Ash,” Jo explains, “Feelings don’t work that way.”

“One more reason I don’t need ‘em.. at least, not the romantic variety.  Besides, this _definitely_ breaks the first rule of Ashdom.”

“Don’t take fashion advice from anyone born after 1970?” asks Jo.

“Plaid is the new black?” adds Charlie.

“Never take a joint from a guy named Don?”

“Never watch Star Wars in chronological order?”

“Don’t talk about Fight Club?”

Since Jo and Charlie are now completely ignoring him in favor of their new game, Ash clears his throat, “While those are all _completely valid_ rules, the one I was actually referring to is, ‘don’t shit where you eat.’”

When Jo still looks confused, he clarifies, “Don’t do the horizontal macarena with your friends and/or coworkers.  Just ends in awkwardness and tears.”

Charlie sighs.  “That’s actually not a bad rule,” she says glumly.

“Yeah, well, every rule has an exception,” Jo says quietly.  

Charlie shakes her head.  She’s not buying Ash’s arguments AT ALL.  She once saw Mr. Winchester spend an entire class period flustered and distracted because Mr. Novak popped his head in to ask to borrow Winchester’s copy of Slaughterhouse Five.  The man was halfway through a lecture on “Much Ado About Nothing,” before remembering that they were actually reading, “Midsummer Night’s Dream.”

No, these two idiots are _clearly_ pining for each other.  Charlie knows pining.  After all, she’s been pining for her best friend practically since they met, in Mr. Devereaux’s World History class freshman year.  They’d spent most of their time in that class expanding upon Mr. D’s infamous conspiracy theories, trying to see who could come up with the most outlandish tales. 

She’s pretty sure she figured out Jo was the one for her sophomore year though, in Mr. Lafitte’s Earth Science class.  They’d started arguing over whether or not Lafitte was even reading their homework as he strolled around the room, scanning each person’s notebook and leaving a check mark on the page before moving on. 

“I bet we could write down anything and as long as it sounded vaguely science-y, he’d never know the difference,” Charlie scoffed.  Jo’s eyes hand twinkled mischievously and Charlie knew that whatever her friend had planned was a very bad idea, just as she knew she’d undoubtedly go along with it.  That’s how they ended up sneaking dirty words into their science homework, holding their breath each day as Lafitte “checked” their notebooks.  They grew bolder and bolder, increasing their dirty-word-to-science-vocab ratio, until eventually they were basically presenting their teacher with earth-science-themed-porn.  As it turned out, Charlie had been right.  As long as they threw in an occasional “igneous rock,” or “stratification,” all they got was a nod and a check mark.

So yeah, “rules” or not, she can definitely see how Novak might have fallen for Mr. Winchester.  She just hopes for his sake that she’s right about Mr. Winchester falling back.

On-screen, Winchester and Novak seem to realize they’re doing their intense, totally-a-thing-normal-non-pining-coworkers-do staring again and turn to face the neglected Mr. Roman instead. 

Wrapping both hands tightly around the dildo with a lube-y squelch that pulls a snicker from Mr. Winchester and Ash, Novak gives a firm tug on the member, promptly falling backward as his hands slide comically up the slippery shaft.

Winchester chortles and Novak glares at him before trying again, this time wrapping his hands around the head, hoping the ridge will give him better traction.

 _“Good thing you’re circumcised, Mr. Roman,”_ Winchester comments from the sidelines and Novak shoots him an icy look.

_“If you aren’t going to help, at least keep quiet!”_

Winchester holds up his hands and mimes zipping his lips.

After several more fruitless pulls at the dildo, Novak pants in frustration, _“I don’t know how to get it off.”_

Four people erupt into raucous giggles.

 _“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Cas.  I’m sure that’s not true,”_ Winchester chortles.

 _“A little HELP would be appreciated,”_ Novak grits out and Winchester rolls his eyes.

_“Alright ya big baby.  Scoot over.”_

Both men wrap their hands around the silicone shaft and what ensues next are probably the funniest 14 minutes of Charlie’s young life.

_“Move your hands.”_

_“Like that?”_

_“Yeah, like that.”_

_“No, not like THAT._   _Just pull it!”_

_“It’s an awkward angle, Dean!”_

_“Ugh, come on, Cas.  Harder!”_

_“Dean.. I can’t.”_

_“Shit, it’s so wet.  I’m slipping.”_

_“Maybe if you pull and I push..”_

_“Try gripping it around the base.”_

_“Come on, Dean.  I can’t keep this up for much longer.”_

_“Yeah, right there, Cas!”_

As the two men wrestle with the giant dildo, grunting and straining with effort, Charlie looks at her friends’ faces.  Jo looks fully enthralled in the scene on the monitor.  Charlie is pretty sure Ash’s face mirrors her own, wearing an expression somewhere between amusement and muted horror.

“It’s like.. the world’s most awkward gay porno,” Charlie chokes out.

“I know!” Jo crows gleefully.

Mouth dropping open and not taking his eyes off the screen, Ash smacks them both on the shoulder and gestures frantically at the monitor.  They nod, seeing exactly what he means.

They’re watching the video in real-time, but Charlie could almost swear she’s seeing it in slow motion as Novak makes the mistake of getting on his knees in an attempt to gain more leverage while pushing against the base of the dildo, while Winchester, half-kneeling across from him, pulls in the same direction.

The trio watches in breathless silence as Winchester’s leg slips out from beneath him, his hands pulling the flexible shaft of the dildo with him as he falls backward onto his ass.  As he hits the ground, his hands finally slip free of the phallus, which of course springs back toward Novak, who’s fallen forward, pulled off-balance by the sudden movement of the thick column of silicone he’d been pushing against. 

Novak’s hands hit the slick ground to either side of the dildo’s suction-cup base, but of course find no traction there, slipping outward and splaying out his arms.  He’s left completely defenseless as the seemingly spring-loaded sex toy rebounds toward his face. 

Charlie can actually _see_ the horror in Novak’s eyes as 36 inches of flesh-toned silicone smacks solidly into his cheek with a sick, wet, _thwack!_

“Pffffft!” Jo sputters and the three friends guffaw even louder than before, Ash holding his sides and rolling on Charlie’s bed, while she laughs so hard she actually falls out of her desk chair with a yelp.

Winchester’s position looks much like Ash’s, except he’s rolling around in a bunch of water-based lube, seemingly beyond caring about his ruined clothes at this point.

 _“Dude!  Are you..”_ Winchester drags in a gasping breath, _“Are you okay?”_

Struggling to find purchase on the slippery tile, Novak pushes himself up to a sitting position, a glistening darkened line on his face where the dildo hit him clearly visible on the video.

The three observers, plus Mr. Winchester, burst into fresh a fresh fit of laughter.

Apparently determined to pretend the last 30 seconds didn’t happen, Mr. Novak ignores Mr. Winchester’s laughter entirely, instead turning a steely gaze on the stubbornly still-standing DICK Roman.

Dildos can’t smirk, but Roman does anyway.

 _“That’s one hell of a powerful suction cup,”_ Winchester says, finally having recovered enough for speech.

Narrowing his eyes, Novak uses his fingernails in an attempt to pry the base of the suction cup up from the floor. 

Eyes widening in realization, he looks up at Winchester and growls, “The little bastards glued the damn thing to the floor!”

Charlie gives up the attempt she’d been making at climbing back into her chair and falls to the floor again. 

“I’m gonna pee!” she gasps in-between giggles from her position under the desk.

“Ash, you really are a genius,” Jo says, reaching over to clap their friend on the shoulder.

“Dr. Badass is IN!”  Ash shouts triumphantly.

“Yeah, still not calling you that,” Jo says as she finally pulls a still-giggling Charlie back into her chair.

 _“Gotta admit though, I’m impressed,”_ Mr. Winchester says from the video-feed.

“Don’t encourage him,” Jo grumbles and Mr. Novak glares his agreement.

Chuckling, Mr. Winchester begins making his way back toward dry floor, “Hold up.  I have an idea.”

Climbing to his feet, he disappears down the hallway, loafers making a squelching sound with every step and drawing snickers from Jo and Ash.

Charlie watches Novak watch Winchester as he makes his way down the hallway.  She sighs.  Next to her, Jo raises an eyebrow and nudges her friend with her elbow, grinning when Charlie looks her way.  Charlie can’t help but smile back, as charmed as ever by her unattainable best friend.

It’s not that Charlie’s shy with girls.  She’s usually one to go after what (and who) she wants.  She hadn’t hesitated a moment when she’d first met Gilda the last quarter of sophomore year.  The exchange student had been sweet, kind, and almost ethereal in her beauty.  Charlie had been immediately smitten and hadn’t wasted any time in letting Gilda know.  They’d been inseparable the rest of that year and even though Charlie knew the infatuation could never have grown into anything serious (Gilda was almost too-sweet for the often-snarky redhead and she was completely clueless when it came to all of Charlie’s geeky obsessions), she was still heartbroken when Gilda flew back home that June.  Jo had brought her Chunky Monkey ice cream and they’d marathoned all 8 Harry Potter movies.  A couple of days with Jo and Charlie couldn’t even remember why she’d been so sad about Gilda leaving in the first place. 

She’d been equally open about her feelings for Dorothy junior year, though admittedly, that played out a little differently.  Much to her embarrassment after the fact, Charlie had trailed after Dorothy like a lovesick puppy.  Where she and Gilda hadn’t shared any interests, Dorothy and Charlie only shared _Dorothy’s_ interests.  Dorothy had such an overpowering personality that it was easy for Charlie to get wrapped up in the things she was passionate about.  The problem was that Dorothy didn’t reciprocate that interest.  It wasn’t that she tried to suppress Charlie’s interests and opinions, she just never noticed that Charlie _had_ any. 

Dorothy always followed her own path.  When she graduated and that path no longer included Charlie, she’d walked away without a backward glance.  Once again, Jo had been there to pick up the pieces.  She’d reminded Charlie of who she was, of all the things she loved, and of how much she loved that she loved those things.  How could Charlie do anything but fall in love with her after that?  Telling her though, that was out of the question. 

In the four years they’d been friends, Jo had never _once_ hinted at being anything other than heterosexual.  They told each other _everything._   If there were even the tiniest chance that Jo could be interested in girls, Charlie was sure she’d know.  Unfortunately, that logic didn’t keep Charlie from hoping and sometimes.. sometimes Jo would look at her a certain way and Charlie would think, _maybe_.

Ignoring Jo’s concerned frown, Charlie perks up from her melancholy thoughts as Mr. Winchester strides back into frame, holding up a large jug, “Acetone, from the chemistry lab.”

He and Mr. Novak carefully pour the acetone around the base of the dildo, using rubber gloves and cloths that Mr. Novak liberated from the custodial closet to work the acetone underneath the suction cup.  After several long minutes, the last of the super glue gives way and Mr. Novak is finally able to pull the dildo off the floor with a loud _pop!_

 _“Finally,”_ Mr. Novak says with a groan, _“we can go home_.”  He and Mr. Winchester carefully get to their feet, tossing the dildo, gloves, and cloths into a large black trash bag.

 _“Yep, but first,”_ Winchester suddenly spins to face the camera, “ _Bradbury, Harvelle, and Lindberg, I hope you three chuckleheads enjoyed the show.”_

Jo and Ash’s mouths drop open and Charlie lets out a terrified squeak.  They _knew?  How?_

Mr. Novak folds his arms and smirks as Mr. Winchester continues, _“Yeah, we knew it was you three the entire time._ ”  He looks both smug and triumphant and Charlie’s suddenly reminded of that ending scene in every Scooby Doo episode when the Scooby Gang unmask the story’s villain. 

 _“It really wasn’t that hard to narrow down the number of seniors who have a vendetta against Superintendent Roman **and** have the computer skills to hack the school’s security cameras,” _Novak adds. 

 _“So, listen closely kiddies, we’re giving you a pass because we agree, Roman is a giant dick.  However,”_ Winchester holds up his finger for emphasis, _“if this video makes its way onto a single social media site, we’ll turn you in faster than Ash falls asleep in AP English.”_

 _“And you heard what Crowley said,”_ Mr. Novak reminds them, _“if you’re caught, you’ll be suspended and banned from all graduation ceremonies.”_

 _“And that doesn’t include what your mother will do to you, Joanna Beth,”_ Mr. Winchester adds darkly. 

Next to Charlie, Jo visibly pales.

 _“And did we mention how kind it’s going to be of you three to volunteer to help us tear down and clean-up our classrooms after school lets out next week?”_ Mr. Novak asks with a smug expression.

 _“Why that WILL be kind of them,”_ Mr. Winchester exclaims with a smirk, _“What fine, upstanding young people they are.”_

 _“My filing cabinets haven’t been cleaned out in YEARS,”_ says Mr. Novak.

 _“I have that one cabinet in the back corner with the weird smell..”_ trails off Winchester.

The two teachers exchange satisfied grins.

“Are they _blackmailing_ us?” Ash asks, sounding half-scandalized and half-impressed.

“We do kind of deserve it,” Charlie admits ruefully.

“Whether we deserve it or not, we’re doing whatever they say,” says Jo emphatically, “My mom will KILL me if she finds out about this!”

 _“Can’t wait to see you all tomorrow,”_ Novak turns back to the camera, _“Have a good night.”_

 _“I’ll walk Mr. Roman here, out,”_ Mr. Winchester says, hefting the garbage bag over his shoulder. 

 _“Sounds good,”_ nods Novak, _“I just have to grab my bag from my room.”_

 _“Sure.  See ya later,”_ Winchester nods cordially to Novak and Charlie feels any remaining hope she had crumbling.

Without another word, Mr. Winchester reaches up and unplugs the baby monitor.

The right-hand screen goes dark.

“Well ladies, it’s been a pleasure, but I think that’s my cue,” Ash announces with a sigh, bowing dramatically before heading toward the door. 

Charlie barely registers that he’s leaving.  She’d hoped..  Oh hell, what had she hoped?  That Mr. Winchester and Mr. Novak were a couple?  That they were in love? That the universe would send her some kind of _sign_ that there might be a chance for her and Jo after all?  Stupid.  The world doesn’t work that way.  Charlie _knows_ that, she does, but still.. she had hoped.

“Hey, you okay?” asks Jo, looking concerned.

“Yeah,” Charlie says softly.  “I guess I was wrong, is all.  They didn’t seem couple-y at all at the end of the video and they didn’t leave together.”

“You sure that’s it?” her friend asks shrewdly, “You look way more disappointed than you should about whether or not two of your teachers are hooking up.”

“I know,” Charlie says, shaking her head, “I just.. I really thought they were something more, but I guess maybe they’re just friends after all.”

Jo’s expression drops slightly and Charlie rushes to amend, “not that there’s anything wrong with being just friends.  Being friends is great and I’m sure that even if Mr. Novak _were_ interested in Mr. Winchester that way, he’d rather have him in his life as his friend than not at all.”

“Oh,” is Jo’s only response for a moment and Charlie flushes, looking down at her feet and refusing to meet her best friend’s eyes.

Jo sits down on the edge of the bed and spins Charlie’s desk chair to face her.

“Maybe.. maybe it’s not that Mr. Winchester isn’t interested,” she says softly and Charlie’s head lifts in spite of herself, “Maybe it’s just that this is all really new for him, you know?”

At Charlies cautious nod, Jo continues, “Maybe he wasn’t sure what he felt at first and he’s just needed some time to figure things out.”

Charlie stares at Jo with wide, round eyes.  She hasn’t felt this hopeful since she turned 11 and started waiting for the Hogwarts letter that never came.

“And maybe Mr. Winchester is hoping Mr. Novak will be patient with him, because he’s scared and the last thing he wants is to risk losing the best friend he’s ever had,” Jo finishes timidly.

Charlie swallows, “That will _never_ happen,” she offers in a fierce, albeit breathless, whisper.  Clearing her throat, she babbles nervously, “I mean, Mr. Novak seems like a great guy.  I’m sure that Mr. Winchester wouldn’t have anything to wor-“

“Charlie?” cuts in Jo.

“Yeah?” answers Charlie weakly.

“Shut up.”

“Up I am shutting..”

Jo’s lips are soft and warm against hers and Charlie melts into the kiss.  It’s chaste and brief and hands-down the best damn kiss of Charlie’s life.  It’s even better than that time she kissed Princess Leia at Comic-Con. 

Jo’s cheeks are flushed red when she pulls back and she’s biting her bottom lip nervously and it’s the loveliest thing Charlie’s ever seen.  Her best friend is more beautiful and more brilliant and more badass than Princess Leia, Hermione Granger, and Katniss Everdeen _combined_ and Charlie got to _kiss_ her.  She might even get to kiss her _again_.

Feeling more than a little dazed, Charlie grins slowly, “Whoa.”

“Yeah?”  Jo’s grin is uncharacteristically bashful and Charlie didn’t think she could fall any more in love with her best friend, but Merlin’s beard was she wrong!

“Yeah.”  Jo beams and stands, pulling the shorter redhead into a tight hug.  They break away and grin at each other again before Jo takes Charlie’s hand.

“Okay?” 

The time will come when Charlie’s going to remember how to talk in more than 1 to 2 word phrases, but that time is not right now.

“SO okay.”

Unnoticed on the computer monitor behind them, a dark-haired man walks back into frame, a messenger back slung carelessly over his shoulder.  He leans casually against the row of lockers, apparently waiting for something.

“I guess this mean’s you like me too, then?”  Jo asks hopefully.

“ _Like_ you?”  Charlie asks weakly, staring at her best friend (girlfriend?) in disbelief.  How can she possibly explain..

“You’re like, the Draco to my Harry.”

Jo frowns at her. 

“Drarry’s still not a thing.”

“Shut up.  Drarry’s totally a thing,” Charlie grins.

“No way,” Jo protests, “Draco is totally hot for Hermione and you aren’t going to convince me otherwise, no matter _how_ good a kisser you are.”  Jo blushes, but Charlie feels a strange sense of relief that despite whatever else they might be, they’re still _them_ ;  Jo and Charlie:  the best friends who bicker over movies, books, and acceptable pizza toppings (Charlie doesn’t care what Jo says, bacon is strictly a breakfast food).

“Okay, _fine_ ,” Charlie relents.  “How do you feel about Stucky?”

“Stucky is acceptable,” Jo says after a moment’s consideration, “as long as I’m Bucky.”

Charlie grins again and squeezes Jo’s hand, “Oh, you’re _definitely_ Bucky.”

The two girls turn to leave the room, hands clasped together and wearing matching grins. 

On-screen, a tall, bow-legged form with sandy hair stalks purposefully toward the locker-leaning man.  Reaching his dark-haired companion, he tugs on the messenger bag strap, using it to pull the smirking man into a heated kiss. 

“Aren’t you worried at all about breaking Ash’s rule?” Jo asks suddenly, shooting for light-hearted and missing by a mile and a half.  “You did say it was a good rule,” she finishes on a whisper.

Charlie squeezes her hand, “I once heard someone really smart say that every rule has an exception.  Looks like you’re mine.”

As Jo blushes and beams, Charlie turns back to switch off her desk lamp and catches sight of the left-hand computer monitor, still displaying the now empty hallway.  With a shrug, she reaches over and turns off the monitor before following her new girlfriend downstairs. 

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there you go and I hope you enjoyed it. I was actually nervous about this one (okay, I'm nervous about all of them), but I was especially worried that the slapstick quality of the humor in this one wouldn't translate well from the visual in my brain to the text. I hope it did!
> 
> I also hope you enjoyed the Charlie/Jo relationship. To be honest, I could have (and almost did) give them top relationship billing in the tags. The only reason I didn't was because I worried that folks looking for a purely Charlie/Jo centric story would see how much time is spent on the Destiel angle and feel short-changed. I reasoned that anyone looking for more Destiel and feeling disappointed by the focus on Charlie and Jo wouldn't be that way for long, as they could easily go read one of the million other Destiel fics in the Archive. Plus, in the end, I ship and write Destiel. Right now I probably wouldn't write a Charlie or Jo relationship fic that didn't include Destiel in some way, so listing them first felt dishonest. So, anyways, that was my reasoning in case anyone felt I should have listed the other pairing first. Did I way overthink this? Yes. Most definitely. ;)
> 
> Also, just in case anyone was wondering, the explicit companion fic, titled, "The Exception," will be a purely Destiel fic with a Destiel POV, hence why I'm calling it a "companion fic" rather than a prequel or sequel. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! If you'd like to give my lonely Tumblr some love, you can do so [here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/a-mandala-rose).
> 
> If you'd like to reblog this story, you can do that [here](https://a-mandala-rose.tumblr.com/post/185191364879/therule).


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